Rite of passage

What America needs in 2012 is an honest conversation. Many people will agree that America is "off course" and that she has "lost her way." But is the solution to getting back on track a political one?

Just a couple days ago, I was listening to an interview program airing on my radio stations. The host of this particular program was discussing the new movie Monumental with producer Kirk Cameron. Monumental tackles the subject of America and where we are as a nation opposed to where we were at the beginning. One question from this interview got seared into my mind. The host asked Kirk, "where will change begin?" Kirk's reply was that real change in America will not come from the White House, but rather real change in America will come from parents talking with their kids around the dinner table.

A few months ago, I was interviewing Jim McBride, executive pastor of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia and executive producer of the movie Courageous, about his book "Rite of Passage". The message of this book was that parents today are failing to usher our children into adulthood, thus failing to prepare them for the rigors of life. His suggestion is that we need to create a rite of passage for our sons and daughters that are unique to them. For boys, this would mean creating a moment when you tell your son that he is now a man your eyes, and for girls that they are now women. Fathers need to be involved in each ceremony if they have sons and daughters.

Jim also suggested that as a part of this "rite of passage", that you surround your children with hand picked adult mentors that they can rely on throughout life, including yourself. Doing such a thing would insure that whenever they have questions they can always feel they have a source of wisdom to tap.

I couldn't agree more with Jim McBride, or Kirk Cameron for that matter. Coming from a background where my dad was distant and not involved in any sort of a "mentoring into manhood" capacity, it is my goal to be that sort of father to my daughters. So often I hear people complain about the way America is today, but it is my sincere belief that we are where we are because parents have failed their offspring.

Some may disagree, but if you take a good look at the economy today and the rise in poverty -- I dare say one can draw a correlation between the rise in poverty and the breakdown of the traditional core family unit. Divorce, having children out of wedlock, families where the parents would rather shove their kids into daycare than take the responsibility of raising them properly -- all this contributes to the economic mess we are in today. Look at the debt crisis that brought about the most recent economic collapse. Did families really need all that stuff that was bought on credit? Or ask yourself this, could we have focused more on our families living on less, but having each other? Certainly that can be done.

One of the biggest lies that we bite into as parents is that we need to provide our children with the things we didn't have when we were children. Hogwash. The only thing I am providing for my children that I didn't have is an involved father. The material things I didn't have, well, I never missed them. I never wanted them, but I do remember wanting parents that were involved. You have to think like a child. I dare say children today would give anything for the attention they deserve from a parent. Turn on the news and you can see children who longed for an involved parent acting out in society in many harmful ways.

So my message to America is in line with Jim McBride's and Kirk Cameron's. Be that involved parent you need to be. Step up to the plate of responsibility and start taking care of your own. Engage your children, talk with them, guide them, instruct them. Set up a "rite of passage" where one day at the appropriate age you hand them the baton of adulthood and surround them with wise counsel. This is where real change in America will begin.